The theme of this week seems to be expectations and whilst I talk a lot about the importance of not putting so much pressure on ourselves in our lives and our businesses, here I’m actually talking about something completely different (and in my eyes far more important for you and I!)
I’m talking about what you currently think you deserve in your life.
Or more simply speaking, what you’re currently expecting. It’s my belief that whatever we currently have in our lives, careers and businesses is precisely what we have chosen. No matter how much we protest, we have consciously created everything around us and everything that we are allowing to happen ‘to us’.
- When we’re in a relationship that’s making us unhappy or perhaps feeling unbalanced, that’s a choice.
- When we stay in a job that makes us miserable, that’s a choice.
- And when we’re feeling beaten down or unsure of ourselves, we are choosing to feel that way.
It’s all a simple choice.
But what I want to bring your attention to here is what you really expect out of life.
Maybe, like I did, you have always expected difficult situations to arise, for money to be tight, or for work to be a drag?
Maybe, just as I used to, you have always EXPECTED to never quite feel that you’re where you want to be with your business, your fitness, your relationship or anything else, because you always feel like there’s more to do or that you’re never going to be quite good enough/strong enough/smart enough/beautiful enough?
If you’re feeling stuck right now or like things just aren’t moving as fast in your business or career or relationship as you’d like them to be, then ask yourself if you’re really asking for what you want, or if you are just ‘expecting’ them to be this way, this hard, this much of a struggle?
You only get what you expect, so are you expecting things to be a certain way?
Sometimes when we’re just starting out with anything new, we can lose our confidence and sense of purpose, especially when we’re trying to create a business from scratch and stay aligned with our vision.
When I left my corporate career behind, I really lost my confidence and my sense of identity because I’d had this big ‘sexy’ job title but suddenly I found myself realising that after so many years of being in the same company, I had no idea who I was once that was taken away (despite being raring to leave at the beginning!)
When we start out on our own path, we’re doing way more than just building a business, we’re embarking on this HUGE wave of personal discovery to find out who we are, but we also need to pay the bills and survive at the beginning, and if our self-belief is lacking in any way, we might be tempted to expect or accept that things are just going to have to be a bit rubbish for a while.
(FYI BEAUTIFUL THEY DON’T NEED TO BE!)
When I first set up my business, I fell into this very trap
After having got into a massive place of fear around money, I accepted nightmare temping roles because I thought that was all I could get and should just take whatever came along first (one that I walked out of after just 3 days!)
Similarly, I took a job as a sales assistant in a clothing store because I told myself I ‘had to’ and needed ‘flexible hours’ which resulted in them massively messing me around and calling me up last minute to cover shifts (that one lasted barely a few weeks)
And I began to tell myself this was how it was going to be forever, even leaning towards thinking I’d made a huge mistake leaving my full time job!
But my realisation came when I caught myself in this dangerous dalliance with expectation (and I completely turned my situation around in a matter of weeks, but that’s for another blog post.
YES, having expectations that are too high when you first start out can be tricky because any business idea takes time to plan and scope out.
BUT that doesn’t mean your expectations around what you think you now deserve have to stoop so low that you begin to settle for sub-standard on everything else in your life whilst you’re trying to build your vision!
Want to empower yourself right now and stamp out your ‘settling’?
DO THIS EXERCISE:
Grab your notebook and journal out where you’re expecting less than the best in your life and include EVERYTHING.
- Are you doing things for other people that you just don’t need to?
- Are you working part time in a job you hate that’s draining you? (There are about a million other part time jobs out there you know!)
- Are you being treated by people in your life in a certain way and just expecting that that’s how it has to be? Are you saying yes to working with wishy-washy clients who you’re really not being energised by?
Once you’ve seen the current crap you’re allowing in your life, flip it all on it’s head and write down everything you NOW currently accept from this day forward starting the sentences with “I ONLY”.
For example, “I only work with inspiring, empowered clients who work hard and never give up“.
Or, “I only work 20 hours a week and get paid XXX and have X hours to work on my business“.
But make sure whatever you write feels powerful but tangible and believable for where you are at right now and what you are struggling with.
STOP settling where you simply don’t need to, stop allowing yourself to be treated in a certain way, choose to believe that awesome things are on their way, expect the best in life, but most importantly BELIEVE AND KNOW that you are deserving of everything you want and more.
You will only ever get what you expect so how is it serving you to expect anything less?